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If dating older men is of interest to younger girls, it’s so much easier these days for teen girls to find out all they know to know about the phenomenon of such dating—and then take action to find a suitable older man.

On line dating sites such as Age Match.com, which specialises in bringing people to together to enjoy age-gap dating, caters for teen girls or other younger women looking to date older men.

I just wanted people to be nice to me, men to be nice to me, and when you are pretty and angry and lost you date older guys because they have cars and money and your dad moved out and your mom is busy crying so you go with them. And my mom did her best, but when you have this Tasmanian Devil of a daughter who screams fuck you and pierces her nose and sneaks out of her room and you are just trying to work to put mashed potatoes on the table (because potatoes are cheap–they are still cheap) there isn’t a lot you can do.

And you work long hours and cry a lot and your daughter has a bedroom with a window and a balcony and she is a quiet ghost who waits on the corner for a car to pick her up.

My best friend was 14 when she fell in love with a 21 year old. My friend's older boyfriend was close with a guy I'll call T. My mother, spying him from the front window, asked me how old he was."I don't know," I said. After awhile, my friend and her boyfriend disappeared, leaving T. Many memories remain fuzzy, but incidents such as that day in the forest remain in crisp detail. It was late and my parents were asleep as we drove over to the house where T. At some point, my friend left to go somewhere, and for whatever reason I didn't go with him. Maybe he only stepped out to go to the store down the block. This was after the night at his house, though how much later I cannot say. "That's your mom talking."I told him that this wasn't true: it was my choice. He stopped the car with a jerk, right past the top of my driveway, and I grabbed the door handle and got out. For many years afterward, I took total blame for everything that happened between me and T. It was with this in mind that I began my narrator Sydney's story in I'm 44 now, married with a daughter of my own. The teen years loom ahead and I've experienced too much to rest easily. Don't worry about being nice, or hurting someone's feelings: they'll get over it. You don't have to wait, I want to tell her, until you have no choice.

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This statement should not really be that surprising when one considers that age-gap dating, which was once mainly confined to older men seeking younger women, has seen a major upsurge in growth over the last 8-10 years—with both male and females now looking for older or younger partners, as the case may be.

These specialised types of websites also free both teen girls and older men from any potential embarrassment and the general irritations and pitfalls of regular dating channels.

In such cases, the extensive services offered on the website also means that older men don’t have to spend a lot of time sorting through the profiles of multitudes of teen girls who are not really serious about age-gap dating.

There was safety in the shadows, but also a kind of darkness. " my friend whispered as we walked back to the car with the guys a few steps ahead. "Like we were supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend, or something.""Well," she said slowly. I'd completely accepted her romance with an older guy as normal, even destined. When he wasn't upset, he was in kindness overdrive, buying me things: a gold necklace with a floating heart, stuffed animals.

In tenth grade, we made friends with a group of older guys who hung out on the main street of town, which ran parallel to the local university — guys who'd once gone to our same high school and had never left the social scene. I remember how quiet it was, birds soaring overhead, no other sound. I grew to dread the moments we were alone, especially when I needed a ride home at the end of the night to make my curfew. In the initial years following, I never really talked about this with anyone other than my high school girlfriends and various therapists.

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